not even 2 years and i'm feeling the drain already.
and i've realised that,
all these while,
i've been missing the times more than the person.


got the message today that 9 years wanted to ask me out on my bday.
(:
but he won't be able to make it,
and i know the reason why.
haha guys are simple creatures.

but ah, i didn't have any feeling of disappointment whatsoever.
i was like 'umms okay see you soon then.'


over dinner with my dad just now,
he (my dad) was talking about how he earned big bucks when he was younger,
and he says it so quickly and IN CHINESE
that i don't listen at all.
watched the starting of 'I Not Stupid 2'?
where the words of parents don't even go into your ears?
yea, i'm exactly like that.

so anyhows, he was talking about catering food.
and all in my mind was,
"if only [insert 9 year's name here] was with me now."
immediately after i said it twice in my head i heard my father saying,
"....miso soup, (and other food items which i forgot).."
i really forgot what else did he say.


a bit freaky.
then i stopped thinking.


is it now
a need,
or a want?